a grown man: haha I’m such a baby I don’t know how to take care of myself because women, including my mother, have wasted decades of their precious lives and time and energy doing everything for me and now I’m a lazy pathetic unfeeling shithead. it’s so sweet that I don’t know how to chop an onion or use fabric conditioner haha awh I need a girlfriend to look after me
In the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale based the main character on a Letterman interview featuring Tom Cruise in 1999. When asked about the inspiration behind Patrick Bateman, he replied:
“Tom Cruise on David Letterman had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes.”
Every day of my life I think about this fact. Every single day.
ive eaten shrimp exactly 5 times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self-restaint, and each time has ingrained itself in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. i thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as i write this post now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this eresto’s bathroom after eating half a baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to shellfish, i realize perhaps the issue is not with a higher power, but with a deeper one. biology.
